Mediation
“Behind every No, there is a Yes.”
- Marshall Rosenberg
Mediation
Hearing you with what is important to you, dear to your heart.
That which separates you from feeling light.
Translating your words into a language your counterpart is able to hear.
And then you too will be able to hear him.
Without allegations and blame. Voluntarily, without pressure.
Creating a space in which trust can slowly grow again.
Finding solutions that fit well for both sides and work and satisfy.
A solution to which you have a YES, just like your counterpart. Both of YOUR solution. Not the solution that a third party imposes on you.
With the experience that conflicts are not only a problem, but also an opportunity.
Be it a new beginning, a detachment from the old, a reinvention.
A growing.
My Form Of Mediation
My form of mediation is based on the method of Nonviolent Communication (NVC).
Here, the assumption is that re-establishing a (broken/disrupted) connection between the conflicting parties is the key to resolving the conflict.
When this connection grows again, doors suddenly open.
Possible solutions then arise that often none of the parties involved had thought of before.
Because while one is in conflict with the other, the emphasis is often on the intention to defend one’s position as successfully as possible or even to impose it. For this purpose, one often has one’s own solution visions, which the other person should then please just accept.
Through the process of mediation, the participants then often find themselves changing their attitudes.
Away from wanting to assert one’s own advantage to a willingness to take a look:
What is for the well being of both parties?
In this process, the needs of both sides are then given equal consideration and largely satisfied.
A new space has been created. Relief often arises.
A solution is developed together by both sides that works well for both. Because it was jointly found to be working well, it is often also sustainable.
Unlike an arbitration award or settlement, which often feels like a lose/win or biting the bullet.
This experience of being seen and heard on both sides – together with the changed inner attitude that has evolved – can also be helpful for the future:
In the case of newly arising different interests, solutions can continue to develop more easily and on their own.
The Understanding Of Mediation
Behind every conflict there are always people.
Regardless of the level on which a conflict becomes visible:
Whether in the social, economic or work environment – or in the private-personal sphere.
Often the parties are clinging to a strategy, combined with condemnations, to enforce their interests, wanting to win, to defeat.
However, true peace with the chance of sustainability only comes about when each party feels seen, heard, and recognized and respected in their needs (and the feelings associated with them).
The Fundamental Principles Of Mediation:
• Confidentiality
• Impartiality
(As a mediator, I am equally committed to the interests of the parties involved).
• Voluntary nature
• Self-responsibility of the parties involved
• Joint solution finding
At first glance, the procedure may seem rather small-scale, because the focus is on a close look. This can create openness and reveal the core of the issue.
Experience shows that what seems slow at first leads to a solution much faster overall. One spares oneself and the participants repetitions, which often arise with a supposedly faster progress, if central needs are overlooked.
I am a certified mediator according to the German Mediation Act, and have been trained in classical mediation as well as in mediation based on Nonviolent Communication (Forum Demokratie Düsseldorf).
Are you interested? Then please feel free to contact me.
Available Online and In-Person!
In a free preliminary meeting, I will be happy to answer your questions and support you in deciding whether mediation is suitable for your situation.
“Do you want to be Right or to be Happy?
You can't have both together.”
- Marshall Rosenberg
welcome (at) authenticrelatingeurope (dot) com
+49-177-761 6263
© 2021 – 2022 Frei Schuessler